


i picture you

by daffodil_blue



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: (doesn't really come into it but i just love that we can use that tag), (plus a few mid-season missing moments), Canon Compliant, Canon Trans Character, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, Swearing, a few other characters get mentioned, also featuring excessive use of metaphors because i like to be both gay and poetic, basically: i'm obsessed with david's artwork, david pov because what else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 14:24:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daffodil_blue/pseuds/daffodil_blue
Summary: Whenever David is thinking about someone - thinking about someone so much that they're just stuck sitting in his mind and he can't think past their face - he draws them.It makes sense, then, that his sketchbook is filled with Matteo.- or -a series of moments in the progression of david and matteo's relationship, featuring david drawing, david talking about drawing, and matteo doodling all over the place.





	i picture you

**Author's Note:**

> i actually started writing this ages ago before exams got in the way of it, because i frankly have way too many thoughts about david schreibner and his artistic talents. if i was an artist myself i would have created some images to go with this fic, but alas, i am no david, so my overenthusiastic metaphors will have to do. since i haven't done a proper piece of art since i was 15, i don't know why i decided this would be a good thing to write about, but i frankly had so much fun writing this that i don't care. all my GCSE art knowledge has to come in useful somewhere in my life. 
> 
> one potentially important note before we start: for the most part this fic takes place post-season 3, but the first three parts are missing moments from points within the season. the first takes place at the end of ep2, so that's straightforward, but it occurred to me that viewers who didn't watch live may have missed the social media posts that inspired the other two. the second scene takes place at the end of ep9 and was directly inspired by [matteo's insta story](https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17855987179413603/) from that evening. the other one is set during ep10 the day before the meeting with the headteacher, and it was inspired by the [epic posters](https://everythingisskam.tumblr.com/post/184941924307/i-love-one-talented-artist-called-david) david made for the prank at the end of the episode. 
> 
> if my spelling is weird it's because i'm british and i figured it's frankly just as weird to have german characters speaking to each other in british english as it is in american english. also, here is the obligatory i-know-nothing-about-germany disclaimer!
> 
> title from "picture you" by mumford & sons because their delta album is a) my favourite album of all time and b) literally everywhere in druck, god bless. 
> 
> ENJOY, MY LOVELIES

Whenever David is thinking about someone - thinking about someone so much that they're just stuck sitting in his mind and he can't think past their face - he draws them. 

It makes sense, then, that his sketchbook is filled with Matteo. 

* * *

The first time David drew Matteo, he was still trying to catch his breath. Running away was not good for his oxygen levels. But it was better to drown in your efforts against the waves than to sit and wait for the tide to reach you - wasn’t it?

Matteo looked beautiful when he smiled. 

That was the main thing David had noticed as they stumbled off the bus. As Matteo lit his joint. As he sat at the table, sweater pooled around him, David’s sketchbook curling beneath his fingers. _You have talent_.

David couldn't fully explain _why_ he had decided to share his art with this boy that he, by any estimates, barely knew. But it was strange - he sort of felt like he _did_ know him, already. Meeting Matteo was more like _recognising_ him. 

He had a feeling that not many people recognised Matteo. Maybe that was why he was showing him his art in the first place. Sharing a piece of himself. Too few people had given themselves to Matteo Florenzi. Too many people had left him.

He left, too.

David had pummelled the inside of his mind the whole way home. The first time that he ever saw Matteo Florenzi smile, and he was just going to run away, steal that sun-drenched afternoon from him? That was the problem with self-preservation - wasn’t it just another name for selfishness? 

That was what one half of David’s brain told him. But the other part, the more important one, refused to listen. _Couldn’t_ listen. He had to run. 

When he reached the shelter of his bedroom, when he could finally breathe again, he pulled his bag onto his knees and rummaged inside. His sketchbook was still resting near the top, right where he’d left it after Matteo had passed it back to him, carefully, only a few hours earlier.

He picked out a pencil from the pot on his windowsill and turned to the next clean page.

Messy hair. Drowning eyes. The cutest nose he'd ever seen. 

He might have been running from Matteo, but that didn't mean he couldn't dream of him. 

* * *

The next time he took his sketchbook out in Matteo’s presence, it felt like a year had passed - and maybe it had. 

Somewhere along the way, apparently, they’d fallen in love. 

And they knew it. Amongst the echoes, the shouts, the drowning thoughts, four words had cut through and landed softly on the water that was lapping at David's chest. 

"I'm not saying it again," Matteo had said, only he did. He _did_. In his soft, fragile, beautiful voice. _Because I love you_. 

So now David was lying against the side of an empty pool, and the tiles were cold on the back of his neck, but Matteo was warm, and his head was resting on David's shoulder. David could feel soft hair brushing his cheek, could feel Matteo's whole body tremble whenever he laughed, and it was so overwhelming and so beautiful. They had time. He had everything. 

Each day in Fürstenberg, he’d been trying to forget, trying to pretend. But he couldn’t. 

That Friday - Herr Neuhaus - everything had gone black. David could only draw shadows, fleeting things, _run._

And then, as he was sitting at his godmother's kitchen table, picking at a knot of wood there, he had finally checked his text messages. 

A message from Matteo. A series of messages, actually. 

_ I'll wait for you.  _

He couldn't reply, back then, but he had turned the page of his sketchbook and started the curve of those eyes. Sad eyes. Pretty eyes. The eyes he was clinging on to. 

And now, in the pool, together after weeks of cat-and-mouse, of run-and-hide, Matteo saw it. Every day in Fürstenberg, David's thoughts had been with him. It was there, in his sketches - Matteo Florenzi, again and again, his eyes, his smile, the curve of his face. The only place where David had felt, for a moment, that his head could lift above the water, even as he drowned. Matteo Florenzi: his lighthouse boy.

After a while, David had dug out his pencil. 

Matteo had smirked. "You gonna draw me again?" 

"Nope. You're gonna draw me."

It was half a joke, and Matteo had laughed, but he'd taken the pencil, a mock-serious look on his face. He handed over his phone. "You can add it to my story."

Matteo had doodled for a while. David had tried not to watch too closely, but that was impossible. It was a bit of a mess, though actually surprisingly decent as far as the actual drawing went. But it was _what_ Matteo drew that made David smile the most. A cheese sandwich. A wheel. Some balloons. A long, looping spiral meandering across the page. A butterfly. And love hearts, five of them, scattered. 

Matteo sensed David watching him. He bit his lip, then moved his pencil to a corner and started writing. 

_ I'm not good enough to draw you, he wrote. But I can draw how you make me feel.  _

He looked up at David with a shy smile, and at that, David felt his heart go _boom._

* * *

He had purposefully procrastinated doing the ok. cool. boys. 

David leaned back in his chair and leafed through the posters he’d already accumulated, mostly to give himself something to do that wasn’t starting on his final designs. 

It had been a lot of fun, designing the Abistreich posters. For one thing, it took his mind off the appointment tomorrow. But for another - it was hard to put into words, but being given this job made him feel like maybe, actually, he was a _part_ of this group. Not just Matteo. Not even just the boys. But _all of them_ , even the people he had barely even spoken to yet. For someone who had thought he wanted to get through his Abi unnoticed, it was striking how happy that thought made him. 

It had been Kiki who messaged him on instagram. _Hey_ , she’d said. _I was talking to Sara, because we really want someone to make some art for our Abistreich, and she told me you’re really good at drawing. Would you be interested in helping with it?_

He was a bit surprised that it had been Sara who had recommended him, so he made a mental note to message her his thanks. In any case, he couldn’t refuse. 

Armed with Kiki’s enthusiastic design brief, he had sat down at his window with his marker pens. Instagram was open on his laptop. He scrolled back through everyone’s profiles, picked out the photos that seemed to say the most about their subjects, or the ones he knew he could make into something cool, or just the ones that made him laugh the most. 

He collaged his new friends. He cut and pasted smiles. He found all the right colours. He painted faces, and doodled gestures, and into every stroke of his marker pen he tried to pour all the gratitude he had. There was a warmth that settled around all of Matteo’s friends, and he was only just discovering how glorious it was to sit in the sun. 

But now. He’d done everyone. All the girls. A few solo shots of Jonas. Himself, posing with Sara and Leonie. Everyone but _him._

As if on cue, his phone buzzed. 

_I’m not surviving this_ 😟

David set down his pen. _Surviving what?_

_ 24 hours without you _

Just like that, it felt like someone had let off a firework in his heart. 

_It had to happen sometime_ , he typed back. _We couldn’t spend the ENTIRE week in bed._

_ Couldn’t we?  _

David could see Matteo’s pouty face perfectly well in his mind’s eye. _Well…_

_Just admit it_ , Matteo wrote. _It’s only been one night, and you miss me already._

_Yeah. I miss you_ ❤️

There was a slight pause before the next text came through. _Hey… where am I meeting you tomorrow?_ ❤️

David frowned. _Tomorrow?_

_ For your appointment with dr steinberg _

Something in his stomach clenched and unclenched. Oh. 

_ I don’t think you can come into my appointment with me.  _

The response was immediate. _But I can wait for you. I don’t want you to be on your own._

And then immediately again. _Unless you want to go on your own, obviously_

And again. _It’s up to you, sorry. I just sort of assumed I was coming._

David breathed out. He couldn’t believe it, sometimes. He couldn’t believe Matteo. He couldn’t believe that he was real, and his, and someone he could love. 

_ It’ll probably be really boring. But if you really do want to come… I’d like that.  _

_Of course_ 💞

_ I could meet you at school, then? Unless… _

_ Unless…? _

David smiled at the screen then bit his lip. _Do you want to come over tonight?_

A string of smiling emojis. David hugged his phone to his chest. 

Then he clicked onto Matteo’s instagram. 

By the time Matteo was on his way, the ok. cool. collage was finished. 

He’d gone with group photos, in the end. He kind of felt like Matteo would want to be with his _brudis_ in his Abistreich poster. He wasn’t sure _why_ he was so certain of that - but he was.

Making his boyfriend into a piece of art to be displayed around the school was not a challenge he’d ever envisaged facing. He felt this weird pressure to make Matteo’s the best poster of them all, without turning it into anything overtly romantic. It was difficult not to get distracted just looking through every single photo of Matteo that existed on the internet. 

It took a while to make his choice. He finally picked out a photo from the neon party that he found on Jonas’ account, because he hadn’t been lying: Matteo really _had_ looked good that day. He paired it with a group shot from Matteo’s page, and smiled as he turned his boyfriend into the prettiest, grumpiest vampire of all time. 

A little bit shy. A little bit lonely. A little bit strange. A little bit perfect. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket. _I’m here!_

David placed his vampire in the desk drawer, then took the stairs two at a time. 

He opened the door, opened his arms, and breathed in his very real, very human, very lovely boy. 

* * *

One afternoon, when their relationship was a few weeks old, Matteo moved from the bed where they'd been lying together and sat down at David's desk. 

His sketchbook was lying there. Matteo turned back towards the bed, and although he didn't say anything, his face asked the question for him - _may I?_

David smiled and nodded, then got up from the bed and stood behind his boyfriend, running his fingers through his hair almost absentmindedly. The sunlight reflected off the pages. The whole world seemed bright. 

Matteo flipped through until he reached the latest drawings. David had drawn him from memory again, just two days ago, after a day in the park with the rest of the boys. He was pleased with the drawing - one of the best Matteo drawings yet, though he always loved the Matteo drawings more than any others. 

Matteo himself curled his fingers around the page. His smile turned a little smaller, a little quieter, and his eyes were fixed on the table. He was having one of his shy moments - that was immediately obvious. 

David moved from his position behind his boyfriend and knelt down at his side instead. He placed a gentle hand on Matteo's cheek and tilted his head so they were facing each other. He leaned forward into a kiss, just a simple, soft kiss, and then another. 

"Na?" he said, quietly. It was stupid, but somehow that word had become a familiar comfort for them, a reminder of the days when they had to keep their shyness locked up from fear, a reminder that they could talk, now, really _talk._ David moved his hand from Matteo's cheek, and knotted together their fingers instead. 

"Na."

"Everything okay?" 

Matteo smiled, looking down again. "Yeah. Just…"

His free hand started to tap along the curve of the sketchbook. 

"Do I really look like that?" 

David frowned. "Like what?" 

"Like… I don't know. The way I look in your drawings." 

He had a sense that Matteo couldn't explain any further than that even if he tried. Matteo was the sort of person where sometimes what he didn't say was every bit as important as what he did say, because not all of the words that existed in his head could find their way out of it. 

Luckily, David was good at understanding the edges, the empty bits, where Matteo's words got stuck but his feelings were as real and raw and complicated as anyone else's. 

He knew what Matteo was trying to say. Because there on the page was his face, that wonderful, familiar face, sketched out in soft 4B pencil. Pencil-Matteo was smudged at the very edges, but the curves of his features were sharper. Hard and soft, all at once. And his hair fell so perfectly, and there were freckles beneath his eyes, just a few, just enough, and David had drawn a flower, a single daisy with satin petals, right in the corner, right in the light beneath his chin. 

It had to be one of the most beautiful things David had ever drawn. 

And, in a way, it was true: the real Matteo didn't always look like that. The real Matteo got bags under his eyes, and spots, and his hair hardly ever fell perfectly. The real Matteo wasn't always smiling the way pencil-Matteo did. The real Matteo rolled his eyes and pulled stupid goofy faces and cried until his eyes were red and raw. 

David wasn't sure how to find words that could explain how the real Matteo was infinitely more beautiful than any drawing. How he didn't always look so perfect, but that that was how David saw him anyway. 

He stood up again and tugged on Matteo's hand, pulling him back over to the bed. They lay facing each other. David reached up and traced the curve of the face he loved, once again, only this time with his fingers and his eyes and the warmth of his kiss. 

He pressed four kisses to Matteo's mouth, one after the other, then leaned back a few inches. His hand found the back of his boyfriend's shoulder, and traced a love heart through his t-shirt. 

"What you have to understand about my art," he said, "is that I draw things the way I feel about them. So when I'm drawing something lovely, I try to make the drawing as gorgeous and perfect as I can. And that's why your drawings are always the most beautiful drawings of all."

Matteo closed then opened his eyes, his gaze darting up to David's face. He smiled, again. 

"You don't _always_ look like you do in that drawing," David continued. "But it doesn't matter if your face is happy, or sad, or silly, or tired, or angry, or scared, or all of them at once. It's still my favourite face." 

He leaned in and kissed Matteo again. "And it's perfect," he whispered. 

He felt Matteo's smile widen into his kiss and knew that he could never capture this to be as good as real life, not if he were the most talented artist in history. 

* * *

It was strange, but David still couldn’t help feeling slightly nervous every time he posted a drawing of Matteo on instagram.

Or perhaps nervous wasn’t really the right word. _Jittery,_ perhaps. It didn’t really make sense, because _all_ of the art he posted was a communication of his feelings – anger, sadness, hope, all of it, right from the beginning. What was different now was that it wasn’t _fear_ in his pencil marks. It was _love,_ and _happiness,_ and _peace._ And that felt like a declaration. 

And he had never before posted anything quite like _this._

_This_ had started out as just another pencil sketch, but he'd added colour to it. Adding colour to his art was something that had fallen out of his habits. And for the most part, it wasn't really as deep as it sounded - he just genuinely liked working in monochrome. 

But Matteo was colour. David hadn't realised, at first, quite how much, because when they first met, Matteo had been someone who felt ever more translucent. But he couldn't stop all the glorious colour that was inside him, the buzzing energy that had lit up David's entire world, thrown sparks into his stomach and forged a glorious, multicoloured firework heart. Matteo had been scared of slipping from translucent to transparent. But now he was luminous. 

Still, David was decidedly out of practice with colour, so the drawing was nothing too excessive. He'd found his old pack of soft coloured crayons, unused for a long, long while, and picked out a choice of five. A deep red, not quite burgundy, but close. A navy blue. A grey green. And two that were brighter: a soft, blue-tinted green, and a pale turquoise that spoke to him of tiled pool walls and echoed words and sweet, strawberry kisses. 

And he drew the boy he loved. 

He was drawing from observation, this time, but only vaguely. Matteo was sitting on David's bed playing a video game on his phone, so it was one of those rare moments where he was focused and yet still relaxed. Early afternoon light was glinting on his hair, and David was in love with the brightness of his room in that moment, because it made the whole scene, the beauty of this boy in front of him, as clear and sharp as crystal. 

He beckoned Matteo over to his desk for inspection when the drawing was done. Matteo wrapped his arms around David from behind and nudged his head onto his shoulder. When he'd gazed at the drawing for a few moments he pressed a kiss onto David's cheek. 

"I love it," he said. "You're amazing."

"I want to post it on instagram. Is that okay?" 

David felt Matteo smile onto his cheek, and his heart ached with that little gesture. "You want to show the world how awesome and pretty I am, huh?" 

"Something like that."

He turned and captured Matteo's lips in a proper kiss, then. The fireworks in his chest burst in unison. He smiled. 

Jonas was the first to see it on instagram, and immediately commented a string of heart emojis. David smiled at his phone. He still didn't know Jonas that well, but each day they were getting closer, united as they were by their mutual adoration of Matteo. The kindness of Jonas Augustin ran so deep, and David was thankful every day that Matteo had found him. 

Matteo took out his phone to like the post himself, then went back to David's side and took his hand again. 

They knotted together their fingers, the way they always did, and David let himself be blinded by the colour of his life. 

* * *

Matteo whistled his way around the kitchen. It was so endearing that David was having trouble concentrating on his drawing. 

He was sitting in the same spot as the day he first showed Matteo his sketchbook. By now he’d gotten into the habit of leaving a little case of art supplies at Matteo’s apartment, because he was there so often that it just made sense. It was often his favourite part of the week: just being with Matteo, sketching, only talking every so often, knowing that at any moment he could pull his boyfriend over for a cuddle or a kiss.

“You want something to drink?” Matteo called from over by the fridge. 

“Just water, please." 

After a moment a shadow fell over his page as Matteo set down a glass of water and a plate of sandwiches on the table, before draping himself all over David's back. He kissed David in the most convenient place from his position, which happened to be the back of his neck. 

David smiled and turned his head, nudging their faces together. "Hello." 

Matteo hummed and gave him a final squeeze before going back to the kitchen for his own drink. He put it down next to David's then sat down beside him. 

"What are you drawing?" Matteo said before immediately leaning over David's arm to answer the question for himself. 

It was a self-portrait, as it happened. David had drawn himself from a distance, standing in the street outside Matteo's apartment. He had a flower in his hand. He looked so _happy._ It wasn't a drawing he'd ever thought he'd get to make. 

"That's beautiful," Matteo murmured. There was a pause, then, "You're beautiful." 

David looked over at him, saw the same mix of lingering shyness and startling, confident love that had been there the day they reunited in the pool. David traced his thumb over Matteo's cheek, then kissed him slowly. 

"So are you." 

Matteo grinned like he couldn't help it. He kissed him again, and again, and again. 

Finally Matteo pulled away, then turned and slid the plate of sandwiches closer between them on the table. "Come on. We have sandwiches to eat. I spent a whole five minutes making them." 

"There better not be cream in those." 

"Don't worry. Only cheese and tomato." Matteo took one off the stack and bit into it enthusiastically. David shook his head fondly then did the same. 

They settled into a comfortable silence while they ate lunch. David carried on shading his sketch, vaguely aware of Matteo sitting beside him fiddling with his fancy marker pens and sketching pencils. Matteo was one of those people who couldn't keep still, but it was never irritating. For one thing, David suspected that the way Matteo fidgeted with the objects around him was partly a coping mechanism, or a concentration strategy, or _something_ \- David didn't know enough about it to really define it, but he knew it helped. It was probably something they needed to talk about, or at least something he needed to find out more about. But for now David was more than happy to let Matteo play with his expensive art equipment, if it meant he felt comfortable. 

After a while Matteo pushed away the empty sandwich plate, then reached over and took David's left hand. David looked up from his drawing and smiled at his boyfriend, not bothering to hide the adoration in his gaze - he was shamelessly soft around this boy and he knew it. Their hands rested on the table, then Matteo removed his and picked up a pen. "Can I draw on you?" 

"What? Why?" 

"Because I don't have my own fancy sketchbook. And because I feel like giving you a 24-hour tattoo." 

David rolled his eyes but kept his arm still. "Alright, but nothing profane, Mr Florenzi. My godmother is coming over tomorrow." 

Matteo gave him a _look,_ a mix of an innocent _would-I-ever-do-such-a-thing_ look and a cheeky _you-read-my-mind_ look and a more serious _don't-worry-I-got-you_ look. It was altogether a bit of a contradiction, but despite how much they teased each other, David trusted Matteo enough to know that he wouldn't actually draw anything rude now that David had asked him not to. 

There was a pause as Matteo remained deep in thought for a while, then he dug his phone out of his pocket. "Okay, go back to your drawing, Mr Schreibner. I can't do this if you're watching me. It has to be a surprise." 

David smiled and shook his head but did as he was asked, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on his own sketchbook. His self-portrait was pretty much done, so he flipped the page and aimlessly doodled with his free hand, letting himself relax into the noise of Matteo rattling through his pencil case and the slight tickle of felt tip on his skin. Matteo was gentle in his movements, in his pen strokes, in the way he held David's arm still. David knew he was done when Matteo lifted his arm and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles. 

David finally looked over and inspected his boyfriend's handiwork. In the space on the back of his hand, just beneath his index finger and his thumb, Matteo had drawn a cartoon cap in bright green pen. In the centre of the hat was a white circle, and inside that an unmistakable capital L. 

Luigi. 

"I wanted to draw the whole character, but I knew it would look shit if I tried, so all you get is his hat." Matteo sounded a little shy. David just stared at the drawing, then picked up Matteo's hand and intertwined their fingers. He snuggled his head into Matteo's shoulder. 

"I wish I was hard-core enough to get an actual tattoo," David said quietly. "I would get the most incredible Luigi tattoo ever seen." 

Matteo smiled widely. It was beautiful. 

David's gaze fell back on their joined hands. "Okay, now let me do you." 

He sat back up and pulled Matteo's nearest hand over to him. He was still for a moment as he thought about what to draw, then finally settled on an idea. 

He glanced back over to Matteo as he reached for the pencil case. "Are you gonna look away or what? Can't ruin the big surprise." 

"Okay," Matteo said with another dorky grin. David passed back the pencil case and Matteo's free left hand reached in and dug out another pen to fiddle with. 

David held Matteo's right hand gently in his left, then started his masterpiece in the matching place, right beneath Matteo's thumb and stretching across to where his index finger began. He used a black fineliner for most of it, filling in with red when he needed. He smoothed his thumb over the back of Matteo's hand when he was done. "Okay, you can look now." 

Matteo did. It was a soft little teddy bear holding a love heart between its paws, only David had added little vampire teeth to its smile and a grand red and black gothic cape. 

Matteo laughed, David's absolute favourite sound. "Oh my god. That's brilliant. That's so you - trying to look edgy and mysterious when actually you're a fucking _teddy bear_." 

David rolled his eyes and kissed his boyfriend. Just to shut him up, of course. 

Matteo's hands found themselves on David's face, the little vampire bear resting on his cheek. The Luigi cap made its way to Matteo's waist and held him close.

"My god, I love you so much," David whispered. 

Matteo's whole face crumpled up into a smile. He weaved together their temporarily tattooed hands again and brought them up between their chests. 

"I love you. I love us. I love everything."

David kissed him again, helplessly. 

His life was finally its own beautiful work of art. 

**Author's Note:**

> just so you're aware, on valentine's day 2020 their gifts for each other are a vampire teddy bear and a wearable luigi cap. i don't make the rules. 
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr](https://thefellowshipofthedragonmark.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/anybodytolove)!
> 
> hope you enjoyed x


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